There are certain sayings that you repeat in conversations with people. Personally, I have my favorites and I cycle through them. Lately, I notice I’ve been mentioning how “I live under rocks”.
Last week, I wrote about simplifying and holding yourself accountable with regards to the goals or dreams you want to achieve. To that end, and as an extremist, giving myself the freedom to say no, I find that I just want to retreat under a rock and stay there. I don’t want to go out. I am not interested in socializing, save for the three ladies I speak with on a daily basis, you know who you are. I am knee deep (rock deep) in research and writing, under rocks. I actually revamped the outline, again and I am adding more and more details to these characters that have decided to live with me.
Writing, for me I’m finding, is like Life After People. You ever watch that show? The premise is to show what the world would look like if humans were immediately eliminated from the earth. Household pets and animals are left to fend for themselves. The show doesn’t tell how how people were eliminated, though. You never have a why, only an after.
There’s no real roadmap for me, try as I might to get one with “this book” or “that blog”. I find that I am not a “pantster” or a “plotter” or even a “snowflake method” maker. It’s all overgrown vegetation that I have to hack through with a machete to find out where I am going.
What I am writing about is a topic I never thought I would write about, but am now realizing that I’ve always loved and have been fascinated by. This means that I have to root around in the undergrowth and reconnect with who I am, but forgot about. I hit the library for new books to help me understand concepts, definitions, and theories at least three times a week. I clip articles in journals, and online newspapers. I am enjoying the process, but it’s a process that I undertake alone and work at in the spaces between heart beats (as in, small increments of time, because I got kids, ya’ll).
All this to say, that while I’m not here, I’m here working very hard on something that scares me very much.
And if you haven’t seen Life After People, you should.