On this day, last year, I was in the middle of CatholicMom’s Lawn Chair Catechism Series. For today’s Throw Back Thursday, I thought it would be good to reflect on where I was just a year ago.
The question I tackled was this one:
In your own faith: To believe in a personal God is to believe that God truly will meet us in prayer. It can be difficult to evangelize when we ourselves are going through a “dry spell”, or struggling with some spiritual question. Do you have difficulty trusting that God will show himself to those who do not yet possess the faith?
Absolutely not. When I first answered this, I wasn’t completely transparent about the subtle nuances and struggles affecting my unequally yoked marriage.
It was my husband I was talking about when I said I was “little flowering” it. For me, that meant focusing on my love for God and resting in the comfort of knowing that everything else would flow from that. More concretely, this meant showing kindness, forgiveness and mercy no matter what was going on in my life. This was hard. I lacked the confidence to share my faith openly in my home. I wasn’t familiar with how comfortable my husband would be. That was a really long process. It’s not that my husband was flagrantly adamant that I not talk about faith or God at home. This was all me.
As my first vocation is wife and mother, I wanted to be true to that God-given vocation and love my husband through this metamorphosis. I wanted him to feel confident knowing that I wasn’t going to smack him with a bible every morning (I do keep scapulars under his mattress and Sts. Michael and Christopher medals in his work bag – thank goodness for hidden pockets!).
This transition on both our parts, this growing, if you will, happens in every marriage whether it’s faith based, there’s a career change, a new baby, a parent moves in, you name it. The point is, to allow God to be there with you. Once you let go and realize that there’s really three parts to your marriage: you, your spouse and God (talk about a Trinity!) you can lean into uncomfortable conversations knowing full well that you’ve got back up. I am still the only bible my husband reads and that’s really ok, I know that God is there, turning the pages for him.
Where were you this time last year? What were you thinking, feeling, seeing and being? Share with us in the comments.
Happy TBT to you!