#TBT Blog Style: My Secret BFF

I thought it would be fun to do “Throwback Thursday” or #TBT a little differently. You and I have an anniversary coming up. A year of blogging. Can you believe it? I thought I would shed some light on posts that were probably never read, thoughts that haven’t revisited. I didn’t know where I was going with my blog-adventure and still don’t. But, the journey has been fun, hasn’t it? If you’re a blogger, why not choose a random post and throw it up. Look in the mirror and see what’s changed, or how much of you is really, still the same. Whatever the difference, I bet you’ll find it comforting.

This post was published originally on June 24,2013

My Secret BFF #catholic #conversionI was reading around today, like I do. Reading, for me, is like prayer. Especially since most of my reading is about Catholic spirituality, theology, apologetics and the occasional craft to share with the kiddos thrown in for fun. I recently shared my Kindle app with my friend, Karen and she shared her book list with me. A slice of heaven for us.

I came across a piece titled “Cross Connection” by Nancy Ward that I absolutely connected with immediately and was inspired to share with you. As I read, I was transported to a time when I was alone often. In my past life (I say that jokingly to refer to me pre-Catholic) I was filling up any extra time with clubs, hobbies, higher education, anything I could find to keep silence at a minimum. This, after working a 14 hour day. I came home one evening to pick up the boys from their babysitter when my youngest was crying. He didn’t want to leave the babysitter. He didn’t want to come home. He didn’t want…me.

What a wake up call. My husband and I immediately began working towards my becoming a stay at home mother, while he would take on supporting the family. I couldn’t completely let go of that hectic pace and continued my studies towards a master’s degree. We moved to a place where we knew no one, and the weather was getting colder. I spent a lot of time alone with my youngest, as my older son was in school during the day. I was writing papers, reading textbooks and waiting for my husband to come home. He still commuted 2 hours to his office or was in a different part of the country for weeks at a time. I can recall times of real loneliness, even with my children sitting right next to me on the couch. At some point, in all of the stillness, I heard something. I couldn’t really discern what it was at the time. I didn’t know and it was so subtle I couldn’t really explain it, only that it was comforting, I became less lonely, stronger and more confident in my new home. It’s hard to describe. I was being lead in a new direction – where silence and solitude was ok. Looking back now, as I read this piece by Nancy, I realized it what the beginning of my conscious “yes” to God. I didn’t have any friends in this new place we moved to, but I found a new one, and He’s been my secret BFF this whole time. As the snow melted and the sun was shining again, so was I.



8 thoughts on “#TBT Blog Style: My Secret BFF

  1. We still have those moments when my kids would rather stay with their nanny. Working mom woes. 😦
    I can’t wait to be a SAHM or a WAHM. And I’m saying this an hour after I lost my $4!% with the kiddos earlier. :/


    1. We all lose our $4!% and they love us anyway. Because when they lose their $4!% it’s usually more epic and they know we have to love them back!


  2. Cristina – Every time I think I have a favorite post of yours, you put up a better one. Your line, “He didn’t want to leave the babysitter. He didn’t want to come home. He didn’t want…me.” took me completely off guard, like a sucker punch to my belly. I felt all the breath leave my body and tears are still welling up in my eyes.

    I despise having to leave my 5 boys to work the long hours I do because they cry when I leave. Your story makes me want to run and wrap my arms around you! I am so glad God was there to do that for me. Maybe one day we will meet, and I will hug you (My boys would say, “That’s just creepy, Mom!” but there’s no creepiness intended!)

    🙂 Thanks for sharing!


  3. Wow. This post really pulls at my heart strings. I felt this exact same way a few years ago while living in Florida. I, too, turned more to my faith. I really need to get back to my Bible study. I miss it. There is no excuse for not spending quiet time with God.


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