Yesterday’s mass reading (1 SM 3:1-10, 19-20) and Day 6 of the consecration, for me, got on like white on rice. Let me explain (after you stop giggling)
How often do we feel a nudging, a call and look to other things that seem fulfilling? A new job, highlights – for your hair, or pens – depends on what you’re into. A new planner (me), books, balls of yarn, television, I can go on.
All of this need, at its core, is the Lord calling us and our searching for Him in the wrong places. Are we like Samuel “not familiar with the LORD”? Has He not revealed Himself to us yet? Or are we not allowing that grace by not experiencing the silence in which He dwells?
Ahh, that’s it, isn’t’ it?
Is this what I felt before conversion? Yes. I knew something was there, something more, something other, something Him. Like Eli, my “eyes had lately grown so weak that he could not see. The lamp of God was not yet extinguished…”
Still, how hard is it for us to humble ourselves enough to hear the response when we finally give in and say “Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening”.
In day 6 of the consecration, we read:
Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”
Do not be like those who offer up words upon words in prayer. Interestingly enough, I just said to someone that I always don’t know what to say in prayer, or which saint to ask for intercession. Either I rely on my favorites, or I say “St. Fever…you know who you are, please help this little boy who needs cooling”. Really. It doesn’t have to be perfect or frilly. A contemplative beholding in prayer is all that He wants. He wants you present, He wants you to come to Him, to “do this in memory of me”
In looking at the close of the first week, I can say that prayer is always something that I love to do – and because time is hard for me to carve uninterrupted, I look to moments to bridge the gap. Taking the time to pause and see frost on a branch and reflect on the life still inside and how that could be me sometimes. That is prayer. Stirring tea and watching the swirls reflecting on how busy the world is and how blessed I am to have realized it, this, the moment. That is prayer.
A contemplative beholding.
What does your prayer feel like?
“Prayer is a gift, and we should not be discouraged by any felt lack of proficiency at prayer”
St. Louis de Montfort