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I am listening to Advent at Ephesus as I type, drinking some delicious peppermint tea with a lavender candle lit, just after a Eucalyptus mineral salt bath. A mini spa if you will, to help internalize this week’s message to me. Interestingly enough, there was buildup. The Holy Spirit saw to that. Let’s start with Thursday. I went to my Lay Dominincan meeting where I presented the first module. I arrived 30 minutes late thinking I was right on time. I do this a lot, friends. I am totally organized for work and projects there, but personally? My children go to school with the wrong clothes — as in adoration uniform on school trips to a pumpkin farm! I keep calendars for work, for me, for the boys, for my husband, the Liturgical Year, cantoring, RCIA and this blog of course. I also digress.
During the course of explaining my answers to my chapter, I began once again to reconnect with what I had written then, as it applied to what is going on currently. My sweet husband and I do this with my Catholicism and his “Agnostiatheism” – as I will now coin it.
Not very perfect is it? I did that for a reason. Our marriage is not perfect, our beliefs are not, our souls are not. BUT, we always come together, and when we do, we bring with it more patience and love for the next “trip”. As I spoke Thursday night, I tried not to cry. I tried not to be “in the moment” with my Lay Dominican sisters and brother. I was, after all, presenting and must have my serious business face on. That lasted for all of three pages. What happened next? A lovely conversation, a heart to heart with people who shared my cross at some point or another in their lives. They were so encouraging, understanding and funny about it all. I don’t think they know how much crazy froth they skimmed off the top of my pressure filled cappuccino soul. That’s quite the description. But think about it. A cappuccino has layers. The froth on the top, its just foam and should be easily filtered through, but it keeps the coffee beneath, hot and unexposed to air – to release its heat and cool down. That’s how I had felt. Their wise words of advice:
Patience. With yourself and with him, you may never see it. I joined in, mumbling to myself, I am the only bible he knows.
So with that, I left refreshed and with a new rosary bracelet in tow.
On Friday evening, I spent time with friends decorating a kit and caboodle of cookies. My friend gave me a late housewarming gift. A wind chime of huge seashells. Hmmm. Seashells? What’s that a symbol of? Something to come? How did she know? She didn’t, I assure you. But the Holy Spirit has a time table and I received this gift in the right time – if only I could see it.
My birthday was Saturday and we were snowed in. How lovely. How incredibly lovely to be snowed in with my family, the fireplace, and tea. I read and prepared for upcoming posts. I planned. I slowed down. I breathed. I also realized that my hands were hurting me. As you know, we are winding down our #VeilProject giveaways and I’ve interacted with so many women who are new to blogging and veiling, discerning, already rockin’ a mantilla or are husbands’ with young daughters who want to veil. I felt compelled to promote these giveaways as much as possible. I can’t imagine how much love, time, attention and money these wonderful women donated – some shipping internationally and still others ensuring arrival by Christmas! This means that my hands have suffered quite a bit from posting on the go, tweeting, pinning, sharing, blogging. Just part of the territory. As such, I have decided that this blog, along with the owners’ hands will rest between Christmas and New Years’ Day. My stepdaughter, K is coming and I would also like to spend as much time with her as possible. I will miss you and continue to pray for you during this time. I would like to be ready to go come 2014.
And now, we are at Sunday. I sat in the pew with my pink colored scarf from New York and Company, right next to my husband. I didn’t have a real
pinkahem, rose colored veil, but this worked. I usually sit with the boys in between me and my husband so we have equal access to be their mass blindersteach them. Strange that I would end up next to my husband. Maybe. I don’t think so. As I sat in tender eyed attention to the mass with my Magnificat in hand, I heard and read this:
A Reading from the Letter of Saint James 5:7-10
Be patient, brothers and sisters,
until the coming of the Lord.
See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth,
being patient with it
until it receives the early and the late rains.
You too must be patient.
Make your hearts firm,
because the coming of the Lord is at hand.
Do not complain, brothers and sisters, about one another,
that you may not be judged.
Behold, the Judge is standing before the gates.
Take as an example of hardship and patience, brothers and sisters,
the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord.
What else is there to say? He has spoken. From my Lay Dominican meeting, my quiet, snowed in birthday, a HUGE wind chime of seashells and the second reading, I need to be patient. Trust in His coming, His will and His prompting to hold my tongue.
I was told never to pray for patience because you will get trials to test it. I think I need to pray for patience. I need to be tested more, softened more. Not in my time, but in His.
The music I set to play is now over. Time for me to make a delicious dinner for my family.
God bless you all…always.